Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize