my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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