He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
