I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
