Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize