"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
