yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
