it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
