i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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