ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
