P.S. I can't hear my feet
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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