I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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