I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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