um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
