Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am naked and annoyed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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