I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
