The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
