Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
