I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
