my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
