So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it's like heaven, but drunker
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
