wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
