Im at strip club and am horny
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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