That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
