get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
NoShamevember. You game?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
