woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
