i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
