census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize