sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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