...so i touched it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You need Xanax blowdarts
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize