I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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