Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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