Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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