I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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