she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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