I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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