Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
