Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
