i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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