i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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