I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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