You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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