Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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