But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
