Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
