Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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