She is in my trunk
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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