kristin has been a bad kristin
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
