She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
