Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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