sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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