I'm going to jail i love you
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
