How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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