Do you still have your period?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize