Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
