I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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