Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
