dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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