Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
