I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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