I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
